I am honored to Guest Post today over at My Mommy Style! What do you do when being a Mommy doesn’t feel like enough??
Did you know motherhood would be so hard? I was sorely unprepared for the difficulty of the task. If anyone prepped me, I didn’t listen. And as a mom, I’ve had a breakdown or two (or twelve hundred). The biggest of which happened 18 months ago. Where do I begin…
I met my husband downtown for our Valentine’s lunch date. The restaurant was fancy, the food was excellent and the company even better. But the minute he asked me how I was doing, I couldn’t hold back the tears. I lost it right there, all over my filet.
I had been in and out of tears for weeks. I found my mind wondering to pre-children days and lost all desire to get down on the floor and play with my babies. At the time, I had a 7-year-old, 4-year-old and 18-month old twins. It felt like such a burden to care for them. Can you believe they wanted to eat THREE times a day?
In that moment of ugly tears (you know the kind I’m talking about), I thought, “I should be happier than this.” I was surrounded by blessings. So why did I feel such an empty spot? I realized I loved my kids, my husband even my life, but I no longer loved ME in my life. Where had Nicole gone? I was no more than a diaper-changing, laundry-cycling shadow of who I use to be.
My husband and I had a great conversation that afternoon. And I had an aw-haw moment. I realized the admiration he had for me. I realized how important I was to my children. I remembered the value I once saw in myself. How had I forgotten? In that moment, I declared….